Why Does Resting For 20 Minutes Feel Irresponsible? The Virtual Jesus Challenge
Key Takeaways
-
Many moms feel guilty taking time for themselves, even when they desperately need rest and connection with God.
-
Biblical sacrifice and self-abandonment are not the same thing.
-
Jesus regularly withdrew to pray and connect with the Father before continuing His ministry.
-
Spending 20 minutes with God is not selfish or avoiding responsibilities.
-
Quiet time with God helps busy parents make better decisions, respond with patience, and stay emotionally steady throughout the day.
-
Consistency with God matters more than having a perfect quiet time routine.
-
The virtual Jesus challenge helps overwhelmed parents build a sustainable daily walk with God.
You finally lace up your shoes, step outside for your walk with Jesus, but before you reach the end of the driveway, your brain screams:
“Did I switch the laundry?”
“Ooo, I really need to answer that text.”
“What are we doing for breakfast?”
“Shoot, I forgot to email her back.”
Instead of feeling light and peaceful and free on your walk, you speed through it guilty and stressed. 🥵
This little pocket of alone time with God is rare and special; you’ve been craving it for a long time! But now that you’re actually doing it, it seems selfish and like a waste of precious time.
As moms, our sense of responsibility and service come from a heart of love. We carry everyone mentally and emotionally all day long. We see needs no one else does. We eat cold food, multitask all day, and rarely sit down. If everyone else rests, we keep right on working.
And without even realizing it, at some point along the way, our own needs became invisible in the shadow of everyone else’s. 📉
Trust me, I get it. As a mom, wife, and business owner, I’m also always juggling numerous responsibilities at once, and there’s ALWAYS something more urgent requiring my attention.
That’s why rest is so rarely restful for us.
👉 We feel irresponsible when we rest.
So how do we handle this? What’s the Biblical view of rest and service?
The Biblical Balance of Rest and Service
Honestly, I think our culture tends to swing wildly between two unhealthy extremes in this conversation.
One side says, “Put yourself first at all costs. Protect your peace. Focus on YOU. Eliminate anything that does not serve YOU.” 🙅
The other side says, “Completely abandon yourself for everyone else. Your worth comes from how much you sacrifice and produce.” 😰
Yikes. We’ve all heard variations of these examples and no matter where you land, the result is guilt.
But neither of these extremes reflects the full heart of our Father and the full context of Scripture.
➡️ The Bible absolutely commands us to deny ourselves and die to ourselves daily. 100%, no doubt about it. Humility, sacrifice, generosity, serving others in love. Motherhood is FULL of that beauty, modeled by Jesus Christ Himself serving others, washing feet, not demanding appreciation, and dying on the cross.
But very quickly, we attach to this portion of the whole AS the entire goal. And in pursuit of that goal, we end up completely abandoning ourselves. Self-abandonment and Biblical sacrifice are not the same thing.
➡️ Jesus – yes, the same One who literally carried the weight of the world on His shoulders – ALSO regularly withdrew from ministry and from the crowds to spend time alone with the Father. All throughout the Gospels we see examples of Jesus waking up early in the morning, leaving His disciples behind, and finding a solitary place to pray.
He wasn’t being selfish. His intimate connection with the Father sustained everything He poured out afterward. 🫗
Jesus modeled BOTH sacrificial pouring out AND prioritizing the refreshing of His own spirit.
So let’s not get stuck in one rut, claiming that it’s holier than the other. We’re called to live in the tension of caring for ourselves AND pouring out, because that tension brings us into dependence on the Father. 🧎
The Result of 20 Minutes Alone With God
I’d like to clear up some common misconceptions we often have about this precious short time alone.
It’s NOT an escape of your responsibilities, and it’s NOT avoiding your family. 🙅
This 20 minutes exists to help you reconnect with God in the middle of a very loud, very demanding life. I need Him! You need Him!
This time with Him gives your emotions a place to land and diffuse. It quiets the mental noise of schedules, errands, conflict, etc. It reminds you that you’re God’s beloved child with a hurting soul, not just a machine that’s always producing, solving problems, and meeting needs.
These 20 minutes have a profound effect on the way you show up the other 23 hours:
🌱 You think more clearly.
🌱 You respond to your kids with more patience.
🌱 You become less reactive and overstimulated, more emotionally steady.
🌱 You stop operating on high cortisol and caffeine.
🌱 Your spirit feels nourished again.
Such a short amount of time, but it’s SO IMPORTANT. It changes you, changes your family, changes your relationships, and changes the trajectory of your LIFE.
Some Tips To Make This Easier
-
Leave your phone behind if possible. 📵 One notification can pull your brain right back into stress mode before you even start.
-
Go outside immediately. ☀️ Get your mind, body, and spirit away from the noise of your life. The sun and fresh air will help you feel more alert and present in the moment.
-
Imperfect counts. ✅ Some days you’ll feel focused and peaceful, others not so much. Both days still make a difference!
-
Consistency matters more than intensity. 📅 Ten minutes every day is far more life-giving than one “perfect” quiet time every few weeks.
-
Don’t wait for the perfect moment or season. ⌛ Friend, there will always be something “more pressing.” Start in the life and body you have right now.
And remember, spending time with God is NOT performance-based. The goal is the journey itself, with all the messes and twists along the way.
Make it Sustainable With the Virtual Jesus Challenge
This is honestly why I designed the Jesus virtual challenge. Busy, overwhelmed moms like me need a sustainable connection with Jesus. BAD! 😅
Your brain already has 9,240 open tabs at once, and the last thing you need is another complicated thing to manage.
In the Jesus challenge:
-
Daily Scripture reading is planned out for you.
-
You just follow an easy, simple structure provided ahead of time.
-
You get daily time away from the noise of life to reenter an intimate union with the Lord.
-
You gain encouraging friends and community who hold you accountable.
Most importantly, it helps you stay close to Jesus day in and day out as you serve and love your family faithfully every day.
Friend, you are worth caring for. 💗
The Lord is eager to meet with you and minister to your heart! Come exactly as you are. Greasy hair, cold coffee, overwhelmed, all of it. We’re excited to have you!