8 Do’s and Don’ts To Encourage Someone When You’re Struggling Too: The Virtual Jesus Challenge
Key Takeaways:
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God regularly uses people who are struggling, weak, exhausted, or hurting.
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Authenticity is more powerful than pretending you’re fine.
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We’re called to love people, not fix or rescue them.
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Small acts of encouragement have a lasting impact.
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Point people to Jesus alone.
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Scripture is a stronger foundation than emotions and personal opinions.
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Listening is more valuable than giving advice.
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Appropriate vulnerability helps people feel seen and known.
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John 15:5 reminds believers to stay connected to Jesus, the only Source of truth, hope, and strength.
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The virtual Jesus challenge helps you abide in the Lord no matter your circumstances.
Puffy morning eyes stare back at you in the mirror after a long, sleepless night of tears. You thickly brush on more mascara, hoping it’ll hide the dead giveaway of your pain and struggle. You pull your hat a little lower. 🧢
Maybe you’re grieving.
Or anxious.
Or just barely hanging in there.
Going out in public is the LAST thing you want to do. 😭 But you have to.
You somehow pull yourself together, put on a brave face, get yourself out the door, and do the thing. Maybe you hurry through the store with downcast eyes, hoping no one recognizes you. Or pull your baseball cap low over your sunglasses.
But then, someone says your name. And you cringe inside. 😩 “Is it too late to pretend I didn’t hear them?”
You smile, try to be friendly. They launch into their own difficult situation, and you can tell they’re hungry for hope and comfort. You’re at the end of yourself, and now this person in front of you is also suffering and reaching out for encouragement.
At this moment, it’s very easy to assume you’re the wrong person for the job. “Lord, why me? Why now?” 🤷🏻
So what can you do in this situation?
Remember: God Uses Weak People
Surely God should send someone stronger. Wiser. Someone who isn’t holding back tears with sheer determination.
But we see a very clear picture painted in Scripture.
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God used Elijah to encourage others after seasons of despair and burnout.
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Most of David’s most powerful Psalms were written while he was afraid, grieving, and running for his life.
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Paul openly talked about his weaknesses, even boasting about them.
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And the disciples had absolutely NO food of their own to give Jesus to feed the 5,000.
Apparently, God has a long history of using people at their weakest moments when they feel completely inadequate.
But Why??
Because when we are at the end of ourselves, we are DEPENDENT on God alone. Our hope in our circumstances and our selves has fully run out. (Finally. 😅)
⚠️ JD Greear says, “If dependence is the objective, then weakness is the advantage.”
And that desperate dependence bears fruit of humility and availability. 🌱
So before you assume you’re the wrong person or this is the wrong moment, think about this:
👉 There’s a reason it’s THEM.
👉 There’s a reason they came to YOU.
👉 There’s a reason it’s happening RIGHT NOW.
So let’s talk about how to practically show up at that moment.
❌ Don’t: Pretend That You’re Fine
You don’t need to put on a brave face or act like you've got it figured out.
People are starving for authenticity in a world full of filters and highlight reels. Your honesty can encourage them far more than a polished, “churchy” answer could.
❌ Don’t: Take Responsibility to Fix It
Even though you can empathize with someone’s pain, let me lovingly remind you:
🙅 You are NOT their Savior.
🙅 You are NOT their Holy Spirit.
It is not your job to remove their pain. God calls you to love them through HIS strength while HE does the deeper work of healing that only HE can do. 🫶
❌ Don’t: Make Their Pain About You
Relating to someone's pain can be very helpful, but stealing the spotlight is not.
Resist the urge to immediately share your own story or compare struggles. Help them feel seen. Often the best gift you can give someone is making room for their pain to exist with you. 🫂
❌ Don’t: Underestimate the Power of Small Acts of Encouragement
Encouragement doesn't have to be a massive, profound experience.
Don't dismiss the power of:
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A text message
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A prayer out loud
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A wholehearted hug
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A kind word
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A smile
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A check-in
God regularly uses these "small” acts of faithfulness to make a much bigger impact than we will ever realize. It's all about obedience in the moment, even in ways that feel tiny to us. 🤏
✅ Do: Point People to Jesus
👉If you only take one thing away from this blog, take this: Jesus is the ONLY Source of true hope, comfort, wisdom, and peace.
The absolute most loving and kind thing you can do for someone is to point them to Jesus, the One who never changes regardless of circumstances.
✅ Do: Speak Direct Truth From Scripture
Our emotions, opinions, and worldview quickly get skewed when life gets tough. 📉
God's Word does not.
When you encourage someone, be sure your words are anchored in Biblical truth instead of your personal philosophy of the moment. Your own perspective can be unreliable during a turbulent time.
✅ Do: Listen More Than You Speak
Most hurting people just want to feel seen and known. They're looking for someone who genuinely cares.
Ask questions.
Be curious.
Pay attention.
Let them tell their story before you offer advice.
People often feel most loved simply because someone took the time to truly listen.
✅ Do: Preach to the Choir
More often than not, the truth you share with someone else is the EXACT truth you need to hear, too. 🫶
It might be hard to speak Truth at that moment if you're having trouble believing it yourself. But push past that hesitation and remind yourself and them of God's faithfulness and his character. Let God minister to you through His Word, too.
Even if it feels impossible to believe, speaking the truth out loud is a powerful tool to internalize it.
✅ Do: Show Them You Understand and Relate
You do not have to pretend that you have never struggled. 😅
In fact, appropriate vulnerability is incredibly powerful! It's okay to say, “I'm walking through a difficult season too, but here’s the truth we need to remember.”
That honesty builds trust and points both of you back to the same source of hope: God Himself.
The Secret: Stay Connected to the Source
We all reach the end of ourselves and can’t magically refill the tank when someone pops up in front of us needing encouragement. 🪫
And thankfully, God never asked us to!
In John 15:5, Jesus says, “I am the vine and you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”
He doesn’t say:
🙅 Be stronger.
🙅 Push through.
🙅 Give more.
🙅 Try harder.
He gives us ONE job: to stay connected to Him. Abide. Receive. Remain. 🍇
When we’re struggling, we often grip the steering wheel TIGHTER and work HARDER. But God asks us to do the opposite: come close so He can minister to us and receive what we need from Him first. 🤲
When you’ve received His comfort and encouragement yourself, it’s much easier to comfort and encourage someone else. 🔋
We can’t manufacture hope for others. We receive it from Jesus, and it overflows into the lives of the people God puts in our path.
Join the Virtual Jesus Challenge
So let’s revisit that puffy-eyed, heavy heart, baseball hat, barely holding back tears moment. 🥺
Friend, God can absolutely use you in that moment. In your pain, in your dependence on Him, in your lack of your own strength. ♥️
I invite you to consider joining the virtual Jesus challenge, a simple, daily habit that helps you stay plugged in to the Source of hope and peace through every season of life. Whether you’re thriving or dying. In celebration and in grief.
It helps you spend a few intentional minutes with Jesus every day, immersed in His Word, away from the noise of life, able to get some perspective on your circumstances. It’s designed for busy parents and people, anyone who wants more in their walk with God but isn’t sure how to get there.
If you’re tired, struggling, discouraged, or just worn out, this Jesus challenge is for you. You'll be surprised at how much hope and courage He gives you, not only for yourself, but for the people you meet on those hard, heavy days. 🫂
Join the Jesus Virtual Challenge